I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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