We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Walk of Shame today included voting.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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