Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize