I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
