Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How drunk are you?
Completed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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