I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
