So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
ok first of all what the fuck
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
