apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
