The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
