You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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