its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
