glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize