oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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