I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
