My underwear smells like fireworks.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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