Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize