Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
