You're so nebulous sometimes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Holy shit dude........stairs
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
