don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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