Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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