I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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