Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
