its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
