Screwed.edu
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
