is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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