Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
