Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
