we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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