I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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