this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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