oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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