hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
