I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
