I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Randomize