You can't special order awesome
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just blew my weed a kiss
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Randomize
