It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
