thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
