omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize