think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
