Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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