I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
