OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
