Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The struggles of a small town man whore
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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