I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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