PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
