Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
