will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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