what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Houston, we have a squirter
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
