My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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