I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
