I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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