we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize