I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
