So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
