Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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