You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
