i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
