This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
