with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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