She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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