shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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