i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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