...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
