he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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